My Grandfather, Jim.

My grandfather did not pass away.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s get on with the entry.

I write this from Starbucks Coffee in Metairie, LA. It’s about 5:02pm, and it’s freezing in this location.

Off to the left of my screen I’m watching the second episode of “V” and so far, I’m feeling riveted but that’s because I remember the originals as a kid and so I’m eager and easily pleased at an updated production.

Today, at 12:30pm, at an Olive Garden… of all places in the Greater New Orleans area to have a party… we had a party. A birthday party for my grandpa.It was a nice party and my Aunt Lorraine, put some early effort into it by being at the restaurant at 10:30am, and my Aunt Leslie (personal favorite) brought the cake. She also brought my cousin Isabel, whom I love dearly.

Now the best part is this: my Uncle Daniel and his new wife, Jill. Jill is a total sweetheart from Mississippi, and we had fun knowing that we are the only two people in this family who do not sound as if they belong. About Danny, this is a guy who’s been (unknown to him I think) dearer to me than I’ve been able to tell him. He’s had his fair share of growing up like the rest of us, but he also had other obstacles in life that he had to deal with. Nothing scandalous or gossip-column worthy, but life in general with not-so-general obstacles. He lives in Mississippi (which is why I don’t get see him when I visit New Orleans) but he came down for Grandpa’s birthday and finally, after years of not seeing him, I saw him. The last time I saw him I was a little kid in junior high. Now, I’m 27 and 200lbs, with an air of relevance. Ha. Seeing my Uncle Danny is the highlight of this trip to New Orleans.

Cool note: I also got to see my Great Aunt Rose, and Great Aunt Mary. Mary looks great, for the last time I saw her she was having to take steroids due to an illness and looked a bit swollen, but that’s over with now. My Aunt Rose, she’s the wife of my late Uncle Ed. Wow, I miss him. He was a great man to me.

My grandfather, James aka Jim, was not aware that my dad and I would be at this party. (Please forgive me in advance for what I can’t help to be my emotions here.) Grandpa Jim turned 84 this year, and the most important birthday for him we’ve celebrated to date.

Back in October… my Uncle Jay called my father and asked us to make the trip out here for the party. Jay told my father that my grandpa is in what appears to be an expedited decline and that he’s on the going-home stretch of his life. I liken this to my Grandfather competing with Mortality, the non-blinking foe in this staring contest.

My dad and I were sitting in the corner (we were not in trouble) when my grandfather came in. My dad went first and made himself known, and I was second. My grandpa was already excited to see my father and when I showed up, the excitement nearly floored him. I hugged him and he said to me, “You are strong.” I swear, I think the man was about to cry. All I could say was, “I am, sir.”

Oh… “V” Episode 2 has concluded.

Please understand something about my grandfather. He’s not known for being expressive, enough to the point that when he does, the family takes it as though we were starved for it.

Jim used to be able to walk on his own. He used to be able to strong-arm me when I was younger. He used to do a lot of things. He built birdhouses, and other miscellaneous things. He used to be able to hear.

Today, I saw the man mentioned earlier. The joy of seeing my grandfather was quickly quelled by seeing him have the staring contest of his life with a non-blinking foe named Mortality. Someday, my grandfather will be forced to blink into eternity. I do not wish it to be soon.

The unstoppable motion of mortality and aging causes me to pause and think of my own father. My father, today, faced it with tears. I too, must fight my own as I empathize with my father by viewing him getting older. No one likes to see their progenitors get old, but it’s not for the sake of the progenitors, but rather for ours. We are the sad ones for we see what lies ahead for us when we reach the latter milestones that signify old age.

Enough sadness, allow me to leave you with some quotes by my Granddad. I take great comfort in knowing that his wits are still intact.

Upon seeing his grandchildren and scanning the room, he apparently was going to make some patriarchal announcement of sorts, and so we quietly turned our attention to him. Looking at his great-grandkids, he turned up his head and said, “Y’all be quiet down here.” and proceeded to sit down. Thus started lunch.

Later, before the entreés had arrived, randomly he grabbed the salt shaker and began beating the table. Again, we turned our attention to him and he said, “Who’s ready for dessert??!!” My Aunt Lorraine chided him and said “Daddy, you can’t have dessert until you’ve eaten your lunch.” to which my grandfather responded with a degree of playful terseness, “Who’s birthday party is this?”

Finally, at the presentation of the cake, my grandfather did give a short speech. He said, “I own an ’84 Ford truck. Today, I’m an 84 Jemison.”

My Uncle Raymond didn’t get it, but he usually doesn’t.

I laughed, and then realized something again that I’ve known all along:

I have a weird family with weird quirks and weird relationships with weird on again off again points of contention… but I cannot help but love them immensely, and I worry that when my grandfather does indeed pass away, so will the reason that we stay together.

Perhaps, the lack of my family’s presence here in New Orleans, while an annoyance to some in the family, will serve as that special reason to come together in the future. More on that later…

In the meantime, if your grandparents are still living I suggest that you contact them and remind them of how much you love them. Convince yourself of this fact, if you must and just do it.