I’ve been married for three years, and I still highly recommend it. Sure, each scenario has their differences, but this has been my experience thus far, so please glean from this what is helpful to you: Strange emotional outcomes — I’m not suggesting we never fight or that I feel in love with her every single day… I’m suggesting that when we fight, or when I don’t feel in love with her, those little existential moments serve as a reset to reality. The reality is that I love her more than I even understand and the times where I don’t understand are what make it hard to feel. My wife and I come to new understandings of each other all the time, they sometimes come as a result of conflict, but mostly they come when we are at our most self-less with each other. Selfishness prevents and kills relationship — This is a no-brainer, but it warrants repeating. My conflicts with Courtney, and to a much lesser extent her conflicts with me, are all borne from a form of selfishness. Our inability in those moments to think beyond our individual selves and not in our true context of ONE, are where the fight lingers. Our resolution happens when we both begin to look for the other’s benefit, and we both begin to do our part to truly accommodate each other. Never give your spouse reason to doubt that you will take care of them — Conflicts are two individuals waging a one-sided argument each on their own behalf. Each party is suggesting to the other that it’s their fault, their responsibility, their problems, and they should fix it by themselves. This couldn’t be further from the truth in a marriage. This isn’t to say there’s no personal responsibility in a […]
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